Rapport is building a connection to spark with someone. You know that feeling you get when you connect with someone on a deeper level? The fact is that you can manufacture that spark with almost anyone you meet through a principle called NLP.
NLP stands for neuro-linguistic programming. It’s about the language we use to program the mind. You can program both your own mind and the mind of others to relate to you in a better way.
NLP is a very detailed concept but for now I just wanted to give you a high-level indication using two ideas.
First is mirroring and matching. Basically what that’s saying is when somebody walks, talks and has a body language in a certain way you should mirror or match them. So if somebody has a closed off body language with their arms crossed and they’re not very engaging, then they’re a little closed off to you.
You wouldn’t want to be in their face because that’s going to scare them off. You want to match their body language. Stand shoulder to shoulder with them and close off your body language a little bit. As you slowly build commonality with them you can start to lead with a different body language and influence them because someone with an open body language is more susceptible to being spoken to and accepting your ideas.
The second idea is to change your language slightly. People respond in one of three ways – they’re either auditory, visual or kinetic.
Auditory people relate with sound. They’ll say “does this sound right to you?”
Visually focused people use words like “do you see where I’m coming from?”
Kinetic people are about feeling and use words like “I feel you.”
The way to determine which one a person is can be through their words or their eye movements. If their eyes go up, it indicates they are visual. If they go sideways they are auditory and eyes going down means they’re kinetically based.
As you gain practice you’ll subconsciously be able to pick up their eye movements, words, build rapport with them and get your point across.
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