Conflict is something I believe we struggle with because we’ve got a negative belief about what conflict means and therefore we avoid it.
I bring this up because I’ve been spending some real quality time with my family in Belgium. If you’ve moved out of the house you’ll understand it’s very hard to move back in because once you live alone you create your own norms and habits. My older sister and her adorable twins also came to visit, so you can imagine how chaotic the house is. Naturally there’s been a bit of tension and one morning my sister snapped at my mom. She took offense but repressed her feelings. Later I spoke to her and she told me she was upset with how my sister was treating her. When I asked her to go approach my sister she said it’s too late and got emotional.
One of the fundamental rules of conflict is you’ve got to fight the beast while it’s small. If during the situation my mom had told my sister she made her feel a certain way, they would’ve resolved it quickly. When you let conflict fester it becomes bigger than it should be. I spoke to my sister and she was shocked that she had hurt my mom. That’s what miscommunication during conflict can do.
Deal with conflict while it’s small. If somebody hurts you and you ask them to stop but they continue, you’ve got to leave that person behind.
Conflict can also be a good thing because it tells you who wants to be in your life and who doesn’t. People who are willing to work through conflict with you are great relationships to have. It’s healthy if you let it serve you and deal with it.
My 4 tips for dealing with conflict:
- Deal with it while its small and in the moment
- It can teach you who needs to be in your life and who doesn’t
- Create a better association with conflict
- Conflict helps you debate different ways of thinking
Don’t be afraid to have conflicts because sometimes you need to have difficult conversations.
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