How to Get Comfortable with Loneliness

 

A lot of people have been messaging me and asking how they can get more people to accept them.

The truth, however, is you’ve got to accept yourself first before you expect anybody else to accept you.

The problem with getting validation from what other people think is that it often depends on what situation and social circle you’re in.

If you’re around intellectuals, you’re going to adapt to be that. If you’re around more image-based people, you have to adapt again.

Everyone has a different criteria about how they accept you, so if you keep adapting then you’re going to feel like you’re never winning the game. Eventually you’ll lose yourself.

I’m here in Croatia by myself and I’m going on a cruise tomorrow with 29 strangers and I’m nervous. That’s a natural thought but they’re probably not looking at me and thinking, “gosh what an idiot.”

I think as soon as we make things about ourselves too much, we’re going to feel unsatisfied. If we walk through the streets thinking everyone is looking at us, that’s really arrogant. We have to realize that other people are dealing with their own stuff and probably aren’t interested about what’s going on in your life.

My challenge to you this week is to go do something you’d never ordinarily do on your own and see what it feels like. Go for dinner on your own, walk in a busy park, or whatever. You’ll probably have all sorts of self-conscious thoughts and that’s fine.

You’ll soon realize being lonely isn’t the problem – it’s accepting yourself that is. As you spend more time alone, you’ll learn to accept yourself confidently. You might still want acceptance from other people, but if you don’t get it you won’t  feel vulnerable. If somebody accepts you, that’s just a bonus.

So take the control back because sometimes the only good things you’re going to hear about you are the things YOU say about you.

Keep on changing the game.

Much love,

Laurens

For more information please go to //www.laurensboel.com

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