I have to let you go!! (Moving On)

Let go

I have to let you go… doesn’t mean I want to. Doesn’t mean I know how. But I have to let go. Even if I take baby steps and go slow… the rest of my life is waiting for me, to step up and be free. Loosening the grip you had on me…

But where do I start? I guess from the beginning… Where all great love stories are born…

Love at first sight before we were torn. You see, we had the inside jokes, the playful romance, the candle-lit dinners and intimate slow dance. But we also had the frustrations and complications, the wanting each other to change but still remain the same. The unrealistic expectations and foolish fabrications. It was love. Imperfect, fun but conditional. The only condition that had changed was that time had drifted us apart. All that’s left now are broken hearts.

Our compromising turned to sacrificing… until we completely changed… I lost myself and so did you… we lost our love and that sweet view… of what we thought we were, but we were no longer there. I was ready to commit and you off on an affair. An affair with chapter of your life, where I didn’t feature. I went from your Romeo to a street sweeper! In a blink of an eye. I felt like the fly on the wall that had to hear but could not be heard. Absurd, but isn’t that what we do for love. Anything?

Now all I see, in front me, is a stranger… wishing my lover could reappear like a Houdini trick… Because, although, I don’t like to admit it, I believe in love at first sight and happy ever afters, sharing the first kiss and living in laughter… But we gotta realise, people will come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

Sometimes they are there to help you start a new chapter or to close one. Sometimes, when you are lucky, they help you finish the book. Just know, if it hasn’t worked now, it doesn’t mean it never will. And I know that these wise words don’t stop the bleeding, but I hope they help you through some of the grieving. Because we have to let them go!

You see, while holding on, you hold onto that old life… never giving yourself the permission to move to something better. But worst of all, you don’t give another person the space to enter your life and make you realise why it didn’t work out with anyone else. The person who brings you breakfast in bed, spoils you with hugs and kisses to your forehead.

This person who will give you butterflies, put your stomach in ties, make you speechless, yet makes you want to share every thought, memory, dream and feeling. Everything.

Your lives will intertwine and that’ll be your sign, you’ve found the right one. And then the two of you will celebrate, as you graduate from the class of we MOVED ON!

I guess the only way to let go is to have faith that someone else will catch you. I’m not yet ready to let go and that’s ok, because I’m closer than where I was yesterday. So stand tall. Look forward and move with pride. When the right one comes along they’ll catch you in your stride.

For more information, please go to www.laurensboel.com

Much love,

Laurens

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